Please find attached the match report in the eyes of superscribe Drew Hildebrandt

Old Trinity 3rds travelled to Old Scotch for their first away game of the season.  The way we played some may ask if half the team turned up to the Hudson Oval mistakingly!  After another raid on our stocks from chronic thief Andrews, the team took the field sans CHF regular Dubba and recent goal sneak wonder Albert.  Rowan Hill also got his chance at Full Back in the twos.  A welcome return to the Clubbies was big Matt O who showed last season he had a strong set of hands and a nice kick for goal.  He became our target at full forward and with Dicko down with injury, big thighed-Thwaiter completed the bookends. 

12 months ago, Chubba’s pre game speech hit an all time low when his Swahili-drivel (assisted by some previous night antics) was incomprehensible to the point where he stopped half way through and walked off.  That performance inspired us to a 100 point win.  This year his words were far closer to English and he delivered a message to the boys about avoiding complacency and cockiness after our two previous winning performances.  Unfortunately, we did not heed the warning.  Hugh Doyle started in the ruck.  Just like the late Nat King Cole, Spencer Cole was late by a fair margin and started on the bench…fair punishment because the nonsensical dribble oozing out of the Scotch time keepers’ orifices just behind the team bench was hard to handle.

Hugh started in strong fashion and as always Tim Cade and Chris Amiconi were getting access to plenty of the ball inside.  We drove the ball forward early and managed to register a couple of goals.  Matt O pulled in a good mark and goaled and making his debut for the club was Matt Cooper, a friend of Adam Andrews (we tried hard not to hold it against him) who also slotted a nice goal from what appeared to be the 30 metre line.  In the second half of the quarter, Scotch started to exert their physical presence on the game and the tide swung.  Scotch managed to take a couple of contested marks up forward and were fighting their way back into the game.  C-Man had his work cut out for him picking up an athletic running Centre Half Forward.  C-Man was sweating more than he did when working over the fryers in his old Red Rooster days back in the 90s.  You could literally see his thighs losing weight with all the ground he was covering. 

The mood at quarter time was mixed.  We held a 2 goal lead, yet Scotch new they were in with a sniff and charged into their huddle full of energy.  Trinity players walked to the huddle with heads down and hands on hips.  There was a sense the physicality was taking its toll and that the boys in green and gold had lost a chunk of confidence.  Some changes needed to be made.  Thwaiter was injured - someone managed to cork the biggest thigh in VAFA footy.  It is suspected the knee must have been the size of King Kong’s to have that sort of impact.  Hugh Doyle went to full back, Spencer and Axel Foley shared ruck duties.  Matt O and Tom Mac continued to present in the forward line but Trinity’s supply dried up as their running players continued to look for the quick handballs rather than kicking it long and direct on one of the smallest grounds in the competition.  The opposition’s captain was picking up loads of touches on the outer wing and through the middle of the ground and seemed to have 20 metres by himself for most of the quarter.  It is suspected the generously sized unit may have consumed his opponent but this has not yet been confirmed.  Turnovers cost us dearly as Scotch kicked goal after goal and managed to walk in to half time with a lead after dominating play and kicking 5 goals to 2 for the quarter.  Coach Heaven attempted to be positive, it was only 7 points the difference, however with the lack of hardness around the contests and endeavour at the ball, Chubba could not contain his rage.  Chubba banged on the door and screamed for some commitment, some VENOM. 

The lads responded but wasteful kicking hurt the Clubbies as they kicked 3 goals 4 to Scotch’s 3 goals 1 in the third quarter.  This left the game delicately poised with just 4 points separating the teams.  This was the time to stand up and be counted.  Spencer slipped straight back into the ruck and was dominant.  It was then up to the runners around the ground to get it moving forward.  Tragedy struck, no Scott Langdon’s shorts did not blow out, Scotch managed to secure the first goal of the quarter, then the second and the third.  The game was virtually over until a late spark in the last 5 minutes.  Facing a deficit of 4 goals, the skipper went forward and snagged two goals in just over a minute.  Both goals were cheap, both goals were sleazy, but we had another sniff.  12 points down and with big Spencer punching the ball forward anything was possible.  With about 2 minutes to play the ball went forward, a contest at half forward was critical, Trinity had options going forward but the ball was unable to get to any of them.  Scotch managed to clear the ball, work it into their forward line and effectively finished off the game with one last goal.  The siren sounded soon after and Scotch celebrated as Tim Cade gave them 6 cheers and Trinity lamented a massive opportunity lost to consolidate 4th place on the ladder.  The only highlight for Trinity was watching Matt O sans clothes and dripping wet, trying to drag Coach Heaven into the shower area.  The Cougar prevailed, but only just.

Looking forward, Trinity now face a tough battle to hold 4th spot as they face off for the second time of the season against St Bernards at the snake pit.  It will be the skipper Drew Hildebrandt’s 100th Trinity game (97 Club 18, 3 Reserves!) so the boys will be looking to make it a good one.  All girls are welcome to come down and cheer for the old maestro who will be attempting to put on a clinic and towel up an undefeated St Bernards line up. 

Congratulations to Sam Vandervenne’s team for winning the trivia night on Saturday.  They won, despite having Sam on their team…that’s some effort.

Drew Hildebrandt